There’s a quote by Peter Crone that’s been on my mind a lot lately as I’m navigating an unexpected and painful turn in my life.

It says:

“What happened, happened, and couldn’t have happened any other way… because it didn’t.”

When you first look at it, it might seem obvious. Maybe even simplistic.

But I’ve found that these 13 words lie at the core of one of the most profound and transformative aspects of self-actualisation, that have changed not only my own life but the lives of countless clients I’ve worked with.

In our constant pursuit of change, growth, and improvement, we often overlook a fundamental truth about human transformation. We’re so focused on where we want to go, what we want to achieve, or who we want to become, that we miss the crucial first step — accepting where we are right now.

And having spent thousands of hours helping individuals navigate and grow from change, I’ve noticed a pattern that keeps emerging. The biggest obstacle holding people back isn’t usually their capabilities, their circumstances, or even their challenges.

It’s their resistance to what is.

Think about it.

We’ve all been guilty of doing this in some way. Whether it’s in our relationships, our careers, or our personal growth — we exhaust ourselves wrestling with reality, trying to bend it to our will. And in doing so, we create our own prison of frustration and suffering.

I see this constantly in my work. Ambitious individuals come to me seeking solutions, strategies, and steps to move forward. They want the blueprint, the roadmap, the exact path to success.

But more often than not, what they really need isn’t another strategy or ten-step plan — but to accept what’s right in front of them — and oftentimes, this is exactly where their solution lies.

But the fascinating (and sometimes disturbing!) truth about human nature is that we only truly begin to adapt (and grow!) once we accept something as unchangeable.

Until then, we keep burning precious energy, fighting against what already is.

Until life slaps us in the face with a much-needed wake-up call.

Until we reach that point of true acceptance, we remain stuck in cycles of resistance, trying the same strategies with different packaging, hoping for different results.

This might sound simple, but it’s far from easy and is, in fact, one of the most challenging aspects of both personal and professional growth.

This principle — what psychologists call the “inescapability trigger” — can be the key to breaking free from patterns that have held you back for years.

Let me explain how this plays out in real life.

Day after day, I work with accomplished individuals who seem to have it all figured out. Yet even at their level of success, many are stuck in loops — trying to drag out the inevitable. Not because they lack drive or capability but because they haven’t fully accepted their current reality.

The undeniable truth is that you can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape reality.

Because life, the universe, God, karma, or whatever higher power you believe in, has an interesting way of working. As long as you resist what is, it will continue to repeat the lesson you struggle with until you finally learn it.

The same patterns, the same struggles, the same disappointments — they’ll keep showing up until you confront what you’re blind to, avoiding or unwilling to face.

Once we finally accept something as unchangeable, we unlock the ability to focus on what comes next, rather than holding onto the belief that things could or should be different.

Look at any major transformation, and you’ll find this pattern. People usually need to hit rock bottom before they finally make that career change. They need to fully accept the reality of a relationship’s end before they can open themselves to new connections. They have to acknowledge their unhealthy patterns before genuine change becomes possible.

Why?

Because until you mean it in every bone of your body — until you truly accept your current reality — your mental and emotional energy remains trapped in fixing (or avoiding!) what’s broken instead of building something better.

This is the essence of the inescapability trigger — that moment when acceptance becomes not just an intellectual understanding, but a bone-deep knowing. It’s when you finally accept and start where you are.

Not where you want to be.

Not where you think you should be.

Not where others think you should be.

But where you are.

The fascinating part (to me!) is that the very resistance that’s been holding you back often contains the seed of your transformation — the stronger your resistance to accepting something, the more energy you’ll free up when you finally embrace reality as it is.

So, I want to leave you with two questions:

1. How would it look to fully accept your reality as it is?
2. How might you work with it differently as a result?

Take a moment to sit with these questions. Notice what comes up. Notice where you feel resistance. Because in that very resistance might lie your greatest opportunity for growth.

Remember, acceptance doesn’t mean resignation. It means choosing to work with reality rather than against it. And that choice, is always yours to make.T