I didn’t imagine I’d spend most of last week huddled in a tent in the sub-zero South African plains of Cederburg.

It was 05:00 AM on a Saturday morning when my alarm went off. Half asleep, I looked around for extra layers (and a head torch!) to find my way to the showers. After a 5-second, chilling rinse under the outdoor shower at the campsite, I jumped in my car to warm up before making my way up the mountain.

Out of the pitch dark, someone suddenly opened the back door of my car. For a moment, I thought I was in the middle of a horror movie, but it was my closest friend, Micaela, grabbing — what she thought was — one of her bags before heading to the start line of what would be one of the toughest races of the year — The Beast (hence why I was there to support her!).

Mica can sometimes be a bit of what we call a Loskop, someone who forgets things. Or who thinks of them last minute. So, just before I left to go up the mountain, I thought I’d check that she had everything before we parted ways. Without a second thought, she said “yes” with confidence.

So, I replied, “Good luck, I believe in you!”

“I’ll be waiting for you at the first peak.”

At 6:20 AM, I heard the starting gun being fired down in the valley, and I knew it wouldn’t take long for her to reach the first peak with the other 9 elite runners. As I joined her on the ascend to the second peak, she subtly mentioned, “I’m wearing the wrong shoes”. That morning, she accidentally grabbed my bag (instead of her own) and locked her trail shoes in the car, leaving her to take on the Beast in her thin-soled road shoes, which made every root and rock feel like a dagger.

This was just the cherry on top.

With 3 more weeks of training on the clock, her back injury flared up just when she needed to train most, leaving her to wrestle with pain and frustration. And when she, at the last minute, decided to take on the challenge, every lodge within 30 miles was booked up (which explains the tent!)

If ever there was a cosmic sign to pack it in and head home, picking up the wrong shoes was the final nail in the coffin.

But Micaela wasn’t about to let adversity call the shots.

Despite every setback, she gritted her teeth and carried on running what would end up being a 10-hour race.

Most people would’ve folded at the first taste of difficulty. They would’ve phoned it in, made a few apologetic excuses, and left with a story that blamed fate for their bad luck.

But people like Mica — who live by a strong internal locus of control — recognise that setbacks are part of life, and understand that it’s not the circumstances that make who we are, but rather how we face the circumstances that are given to us.

And if you aren’t familiar, locus of control is a psychological concept that refers to the extent to which people feel that they have control over the events that influence their lives. This concept is usually divided into two categories: internal and external.

People with a strong internal locus of control, like Mica, don’t believe the universe is out to get them, and even if they do, they focus on the things that are within their control to overcome the challenges that have been thrown at them. They simply accept difficulty as part of life, and often as an opportunity to develop a stronger spine, a bold(er) mission, and paradoxically, a greater sense of control.

In every walk of life, these are the people who win.

But something I’ve noticed recently in several conversations I’ve had with people tells a different story. There are those with a strong external locus of control who interpret setbacks as a sign to stop, or change direction.

They live by the expectation that should life be easy, soft and predictable, and while this is not necessarily true for all people who have a stronger external locus of control, I’m speaking to what I’ve noticed amongst the behaviour of the majority — who see life’s difficulties as evidence that the universe is gunning against them, which will look different for everyone.

It could be a salesperson giving up because they’re rejected too often, an entrepreneur throwing in the towel when unexpected twists and turns derail their plans, or someone training for a marathon quitting because an injury disrupts their initial training plan.

However it manifests, these are the kind of people who throw up their hands and complain that the universe doesn’t want them to succeed when reality shatters their expectations or throws a wrench into their plans.

They treat the obstacles they face almost as an invitation to quit — and more often than not, they do. They mope around, blaming their lousy luck or someone else for their misfortunes, tossing their dreams out to the wind as if they never had control in the first place.

But most importantly, they’re convinced the universe is pulling the strings against them, that luck is playing favourites with somebody else, and that the game is rigged from the get-go.

This mindset becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

They weave failure stories in their heads before they’ve even taken a step and then shape their actions to make sure those stories play out just right. And what happens? They fold the second they’re faced with a challenge that they don’t know how to face, and instead of finding a way around it, they make up a dozen reasons the only choice was to call it quits.

And so, they leave their dreams as just another item on their bucket list and retreat into their comfort zone, where difficulty, uncertainty and discomfort don’t dare follow.

Then there are the Micaelas of the world — people who refuse to let external factors call the shots. They know adversity isn’t a stop sign, but instead an invitation to lace up those shoes (even if they’re not the right ones!) and power through the rocks and roots anyway.

But please, don’t get me wrong.

There does come a point where it’s crucial to be able to discern between what is and isn’t for you, to be able to tell the difference between when adversity calls you forward into growth and when it signals it’s time to let go of something (or someone) that is no longer serving you.

The real lesson from Micaela’s story isn’t about bulldozing forward no matter the odds, but about accepting difficulties and setbacks as an inevitable part of life and embracing the challenges on your path as an opportunity to forge into the person you were created to be.

Remember, failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result and learning how to accept difficulty and uncertainty will eliminate most of your imagined suffering.

So, next time you hit a bump in the road, ask yourself — “Is this the universe really conspiring against me, or is it asking me to rise up to the challenge?”

The way you handle these difficulties will shape your journey and the kind of person you become. The question is whether you’ll crumble or lace up your mismatched shoes and hit the trail.

It’s as Eckhart Tolle said:

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”