The last few weeks have been FULL ON, moving into a new home, furnishing it from scratch, running (and restructuring!) my business, handling some legal matters from my time in Bali (no need to dive into that!), all while training for my next race — the UTCT100K.

It’s been a whirlwind. But in the middle of all this chaos, I had a moment of pride.

I noticed an old familiar face showing up — the part of me that gets a little neurotic when things start slipping out of my fingers.

But this time, instead of falling into that trap and obsessing over things that were out of my control, I caught myself. I recognised the little dude within, gave him a nod, and kept leading from a place of faith, clarity and strength.

In that moment, I was reminded of the wise words from a mentor who knows me through and through — my very own father, Olav:

Control the controllable, even, or perhaps especially, in the middle of chaos.

Let me explain.

We’ve all been there — overwhelmed by everything happening around us, trying desperately to control things slipping out of our hands. It’s a natural, almost automatic response.

Most of us do this without even realising it. We burn through our energy trying to manage aspects and outcomes we can’t control, rather than focusing on the things we can influence.

And the paradox is that the more we try to control the uncontrollable, the more powerless and frustrated we become.

That’s where things go wrong. That’s the trap so many of us fall into.

When we’re overwhelmed, we try to control the uncontrollable in an attempt to feel in charge. But this only pulls us deeper into the spiral of more stress, more anxiety, and eventually, we slip into survival mode.

In this state, our focus narrows down, we become obsessed with what we can’t control and blind to things we can. It’s like trying to change the direction of the wind instead of adjusting our sails — or the course we’re steering.

We forget that we have far more control than we think.

But when you flip the script, the opposite is also true.

When we recognise what’s beyond our control and let it go (or simply let it be!), we create the space for trust, surrender, and possibility.

In that space, new opportunities and outcomes appear.

And when we shift focus to what we can control — our mindsets, our decisions, our actions — we give ourselves a chance to regain momentum.

Only then, by shifting from being reactive to proactive, do we rediscover our power, wisdom, creativity, strength, and resilience to overcome and thrive in the face of challenges.

Most importantly, we start making real progress.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in my (albeit short) career as an ultra runner (beyond rolled ankles and altitude sickness!) it’s this:

At certain moments you might think you won’t make it to the finish line, or even the next aid station.

You may question how you’re going to deal with what’s to come without knowing what’s coming, but whatever story you tell yourself, or however far you still have to go, you can always take one more step.

This is how you learn.

This is how you grow.

This is how you find your way out of the forest.

And most importantly, this is how you become the person capable of leading yourself, and others.

By choosing to remain dynamic instead of stagnating in your current circumstances, no matter how good or bad it may be, you open yourself up to new opportunities and outcomes.

This isn’t just about pushing through tough times.

It’s about developing a backbone and mindset that serves you in all aspects of life.

It gives you the ability to discern when to push forward and when to let go, when to take charge and when to surrender.

That balance — the dance between acceptance and responsibility — is the key to not just surviving life’s challenges but thriving through them.

It’s the shift from being at the mercy of your circumstances to taking control of your life.

From being powerless to being powerful.

To put this into practice, try writing down everything currently on your plate. Then split them into two lists: one for the things within your control and the other for what’s beyond your control.

The things that are outside your control? Practice radical acceptance.

Ask yourself: What do I need to accept? And if I accept that I can’t control XYZ, then what situation will be brought up, and how would I feel about it? What do I need to learn to be with?

The things that are within your control? Practice radical responsibility.

Ask yourself: What can I take responsibility for? And if I take radical responsibility, then what situation will be brought up, and how would I feel about it? What must I face, learn, do, or decide?

Try it. It has worked for me, and I trust it will work for you.