I was fresh off the plane in Bali, right at the start of my quarter-life crisis, the air thick with the scent of adventure as potent as the wide range of amazing and weird things you can explore on the island.

Scepticism was my plus one as I went to my first Kirtan session — and for those unfamiliar, Kirtan is a bunch of spiritual hippies sitting in a circle holding hands and throwing “Lord Kumbayas” back and forth between one another.

Well, that’s how I used to look at it through my narrow and opinionated lens — today, I think it’s one of the most freeing and beautiful things a human can experience.

Anyway, I remember being sat there in my first Kirtan, standing out like a sore thumb,
silently passing judgment on everything and everyone, including myself. Especially myself — deep down, being so afraid of what my ‘old friends’ would think or say about me! My voice, quiet, hesitant, out of sync (and truthfully sounding like a cat stuck in a bath!) seemed to embody my inner conflict.

Initially, I thought it was a one-time experience. Or at least, that’s what my ego hoped for.

The next day, I woke up disgusted by my own judgement, but more so, I realised how trapped I felt by the confines of my self-imposed, praise-seeking prison. So despite the discomfort and resistance I felt, I decided to go to Kirtan until I would be free of judgement, and potentially more comfortable to express my voice.

So as the weeks went by, as the chants progressed and as I found my rhythm, my scepticism began to thaw — melted away by the warmth of the collective energy, the raw authenticity of the moment and the freedom and joy in expressing myself. For the first time, amongst the off-key notes and awkward pauses, my curiosity and openness to new experiences found a freedom of expression I hadn’t known I was missing.

Kirtan became one of my favourite moments of the week and the door to a life driven by curiosity — a deep hunger to go beyond the familiar. It reconnected me to the innate curiosity I was born with but somehow lost along the way.

The type of thinking that isn’t limited by logic or reason but is instead driven by an insatiable curiosity about the beauty of the world and its endless opportunities. The childlike curiosity that inspires us to go where we haven’t been, to spend our days in the great outdoors, where every overturned stone promised a new adventure, every lesson was one hard-learned, and every experience was a brush with the raw, unfiltered essence of life.

But here we are as adults, with our wonder slightly dimmed, our curiosity tucked away in the attic of our youth, gathering dust. We morph into beings striving for acceptance, belonging, and a spot on the societal ladder, often adopting identities and behaviours that feel like borrowed coats — snug at first, but increasingly ill-fitting over time.

We chase careers, echo popular opinions, and camouflage ourselves within the comfort of conformity. And for a while, it works. We find ourselves wrapped in the warm embrace of acceptance and praise. Yet, when the winds of life shift, leaving our careers adrift, our relationships evolving, or societal values in flux, we discover that the very identities we clung to no longer anchor us as they once did.

Stuck, indecisive, out of control, and tethered to the end of our rope, many of us grip tighter to these identities, afraid to let go, to shed the layers that once defined us. So, we double down on the familiar, hoping for different outcomes, only to find ourselves stuck in a cycle of frustration and burnout.

I experienced this firsthand 10 or so years ago while I was running my tech startup — where there was a day that came when I realised that the familiar paths I walked, my career, the people and environments that I surrounded myself with and the habits I clung to were no longer serving, if not sabotaging me, my potential, my life and relationships.

But in my relentless push for more, for better, I was blind to the universe’s nudge — slow down, explore, pivot. It took a dance with a near-fatal health scare for the scales to fall from my eyes, to where I could see that I needed to step down as the CEO of the company that I spent years building — a memory that’s forever etched in my mind.

Not because I look back and cower away from the memory, but because it marks the day that I mustered the courage to let go of my painfully achieved identity and free myself from the conditioning that kept me trapped within the confines of the status game.

Looking back, I can say that our past, for better or worse, matters little in comparison to what we decide to do with what we’ve learned. And what I learned (among other things!) was that in order for life to unfold in ways I never imagined possible, I had to be willing to go beyond the familiar. I had to go where I hadn’t been, both within myself and in the outer world.

I had to enter the cave I feared to find the treasure I sought.

Which is exactly what I did.

I moved across the world, from the busyness of the Netherlands to the sunny beaches of Bali and then to the far corners of Capetown. I ate my fair share of humble pie and dove into deep inner-work to connect with my core. I started studying different modalities of psychology, worked with therapists, coaches and healers, sang lord kumbaya, visited the Shipibo tribe of the Amazon rainforest, made friends with people from all corners of the world, explored old and new hobbies, started a business from scratch and found my passion.

Each curious step peeled back layers of my once-concrete identity, revealing a life vibrant with excitement, abundance, adventure, and joy.

To sum things up, if your old way of doing things no longer works — don’t do it harder.

Do something different, do something new.

And while I’m not advocating for a life-shattering overhaul I am inviting you to rekindle your innate curiosity and a willingness to poke the spokes of life and see what happens, much like myself and my first Kirtan session.

Become curious about what lies beyond the familiar paths you’ve tread. Expose yourself to new people, places, and experiences and courageously venture into the unexplored corners of your existence — places where you might just find the pieces of yourself that you didn’t even know you were missing.

You just need to have faith.

You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

You have to trust the unseen.

You have to trust in the unexpected.

You have to trust in the unlimited opportunities.

You have to trust yourself.

Try it — let go of the people, places, things and stories that are no longer serving you.

Let go to make room for faith, for new experiences, for surprises, and for life to unfold in ways you never imagined possible.

PS. I wanted to give a huge shout-out to my dear friend and one of the people in my life who truly inspires me by living her Dharma (purpose!), Ellen — the extraordinary woman, mother, wife, musician, dog rescuer and teacher (in many ways) who first introduced me to Kirtan. Your devotion, kindness and grace have shown me the beauty in unity, the rhythm in chaos and the sheer power of love, devotion and community.

Thank you for opening my world and for inspiring me and many other people to explore and share their gifts with the world. Thank you for making it a better and more beautiful place, here’s to you, and the endless ripples of positive change you inspire.

If you want to learn more about Ellen, Kirtan, or simply want to be inspired, go give her Instagram some love.