To some — mainly the solopreneurs — success means prosperity and freedom, living unburdened by traditional expectations or constraints while pursuing a fulfilling career, instead of a soul-draining 9–5.

Other entrepreneurs may want to leave the world different to how they found it — striving for excellence, making a splash in their space and truly leaving their mark on the world so that their name is remembered after they’re gone.

Money and status are a part of it too, sure, but I want to make it very clear that they aren’t the priority — but perhaps a byproduct, or even a means to the bigger picture.

Personally, I escaped the status game 6 years ago. I no longer want to be featured on any lists, build the next unicorn or be seen at any exclusive events.

To me now, success looks like:

• The ability to chart my own path.
• A lifestyle that supports my optimal health.
• Living where and how I want.
• Solving problems that matter.
• Earning a multi-six-figure income.
• Cultivating a healthy committed relationship.
• Having few but meaningful friendships.
• Owning my time and doing things that bring me joy.
• And being present for the people that matter to me.

But regardless of how you define success, the journey towards it is rarely straightforward.

Sure, closing deals, winning promotions and launching startups is tough — but more often than not, it’s the barriers that we build (and hide behind!) ourselves, sometimes without even realising, that are the most challenging to dismantle and overcome.

These self-constructed and self-imposed barriers — often deeply rooted in our thoughts and actions — are the silent saboteurs of our aspirations.

And everyone faces them in one form or another.

Perhaps you’ve stayed comfortable for too long, avoiding stepping into the unknown in the pursuit of something better.

Maybe past failures have convinced you that you can’t, so you don’t even try.

Or even, more often than not, you find yourself choosing the path of least resistance, the easy way out.

The question (and challenge!), do we see them as opportunities to hide from and avoid our responsibilities — or do we view them as a chance to adapt and grow?

To unpack this, let’s start with a place where I see most of my clients coming from.

The comfort zone, the realm of the known, the familiar — where every corner, every face, every routine is as predictable as the next sunrise.

It’s where we feel safe, shielded from the uncertainties and unpredictabilities of the outside world. But while it offers a sense of security, it’s also a breeding ground for complacency.

When you choose to stay comfortable, you’re not just making a passive decision — you’re quietly resigning to a life of monotony, where days blend into one another, marked not by moments of fulfilment or success, but by the ticking of the clock and the turning of calendar pages.

When you choose to stay comfortable, you’re actively deciding to hide from the possibilities that lie on the other side.

But the journey of self-actualisation (and success in general!) requires a person to step outside of their comfort zone and confront their fears, biases and limitations in order to reach the success that they’re striving for.

And ironically enough, trying to avoid pain — and stay comfortable — often turns into a lifelong struggle, where we get stuck in a perpetual holding pattern between aspiration and reality.

The thing is, we all have a choice in the matter — to take the leap, get uncomfortable and commit to the things that will guide us closer to who we are capable of becoming.

Or, stay hidden — and never experience the freedom, meaning and joy of living a fully-lived life.

Choosing to stay in the comfort zone is often an unconscious decision — but some (like a few of my clients) are aware of their choice, they’re aware of the risks and the rewards — but they still don’t take the leap.

And this is because they’re in a state of mind where they have convinced themselves that they can’t, so they don’t.

Also known as learned helplessness.

To understand this concept, imagine yourself playing a game where, no matter what you do or how hard you try, you keep losing. After a while, you start to believe that you can’t win, so you stop trying altogether. And even when a solution is right in front of you, you continue to convince yourself (& others!) that you can’t do anything about it.

That’s learned helplessness in action, this feeling of giving up and accepting that you can’t change, let alone win your game.

Whether that’s the professional game, the dating game, the money game or the vitality game, whatever you’re struggling to play — perpetuating this cycle of learned helplessness reinforces the belief that despite the opportunities that might present themselves, the belief that one’s efforts will be in vain can be so overpowering that it prevents even an attempt.

However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from 6,000 hours of coaching experience,
it’s that most people are far more in control — and have a much higher chance of success — than they’d like to believe.

And most “I can’ts” are really “I won’ts”.

Yet, we use “can’t” as a misguided cover-up to protect and shield us from facing part of ourselves that we haven’t learned to face.

And so shedding this albeit self-imposed, detrimental mindset might actually require you to confront the fear, shame, and even the occasional pang of embarrassment that accompanies it.

Which again, is something most people never get around to doing, especially if they’re a culprit of always choosing the “easy” way out.

Also known as the path of least resistance — the seductive route that promises ease and convenience. It’s the voice in our head that suggests we take shortcuts, settle for mediocrity, or simply go with the flow.

While this path might seem appealing, it’s often a detour from our true goals. It’s the easy way out, the shortcut that bypasses hard work and perseverance.

On the surface, this might seem like the smart choice.

Why put more effort in than necessary? Why face challenges head-on when you can simply sidestep them?

But here lies the deception — when people take the path of least resistance, they hide behind the real meaning of their actions, saying they’re “conserving energy” or being “efficient”.

When in reality, they’re avoiding discomfort and challenge at all costs.

This path is alluring because it offers immediate gratification. It’s the choice to binge-watch another episode instead of hitting the gym, to scroll through Instagram instead of diving into that book you’ve been meaning to read, or to take on projects that are within your comfort zone rather than those that stretch and challenge you.

It’s the decision to stay in a job or relationship that’s “good enough” rather than pursuing what could be truly great.

But here’s the catch — while the path of least resistance might offer short-term comfort, it often leads to long-term stagnation.

By consistently choosing the easy way out, we miss out on the growth opportunities that come from facing challenges and pushing our boundaries.

We become prisoners of our own comfort, trapped in a cycle of mediocrity.

Think about the times in your life when you’ve experienced the most growth, fulfilment and aliveness. I’m willing to bet that these weren’t the times when everything was easy and straightforward.

Instead, they were the moments when you were challenged when you had to dig deep and find reserves of strength, determination, and resilience you didn’t know you had.

These are the experiences that shape us, that forge our character and define who we are and what we’re capable of.