The other day, one of my clients asked me:

“Jord, what do you believe separates the people who accomplish extraordinary things from those who struggle to make real progress?”

The short answer to it is that I believe that too many people expect things to feel good and exciting all the time.

But that’s not how it works — not in training, not in business, not life or relationships.

They resist the tough days, the discomfort, the challenges, and the unexpected twists and turns of life. Some even tap out the moment reality doesn’t align with how they expected or hoped things to be. They are simply at war with reality.

Because no matter what you pursue, you will face highs and lows, stretches where everything clicks and periods where nothing feels right, vast joy and deep frustration, and moments when you feel optimistic and driven and times when you feel apathetic and exhausted.

And you don’t get to control when or how these moments arrive.

But you do get to control how you respond in the face of them.

These are the days that don’t just reveal your character, they transform you into the person who can achieve the very thing you want.

But most people don’t respond. They react.

We’ve all been there — overwhelmed by an unexpected twist or turn, trying desperately to control what’s slipping out of our hands. It’s a natural, almost automatic response.

Most of us do this without even realising it. We burn through our energy trying to manage aspects and outcomes we can’t control, rather than focusing on the things we can influence.

We convince ourselves that if only things were different, we’d be okay. We tell ourselves we’ll act when things feel better, when motivation returns, when conditions change.

Yet, paradoxically, the more we try to control the uncontrollable, the more powerless and frustrated we become. That’s where things go wrong — and the trap so many of us fall into.

When we’re overwhelmed, we try to control the uncontrollable in an attempt to return to ‘safety’. But this only pulls us deeper into the spiral of stress and anxiety, and eventually, we slip into survival mode.

In this state, our focus narrows down, we become obsessed with what we can’t control and blind to things we can. It’s like trying to change the direction of the wind instead of adjusting our sails — or the course we’re steering.

We forget that we have far more control than we think.

But when you flip the script, the opposite is also true. When we recognise what’s beyond our control and let it go (or simply let it be!), we create the space for trust, for surrender, and for possibility. In that space, new opportunities and outcomes appear.

And when we shift focus to what we can control — our attitude, our decisions, our actions — we give ourselves a chance to regain momentum. Only then, by taking control of the controllables, do we rediscover our power, wisdom, creativity, strength, and resilience to adapt and thrive in the face of challenges.

Most importantly, we put ourselves in the position to reach new heights.

To put this into practice, I want to share a concept I learned in my early startup days (one of the best lessons a mentor ever gave me) — The Rule of Thirds.

It’s the idea that when you’re committed to something big — whether it’s building a business, training for a race, or a relationship — you’re supposed to feel great a third of the time, okay a third of the time, and pretty rough the other third.

Most people think the rough third means something is wrong — that if they’re struggling, they’re off track, that if things feel hard or unfamiliar, they must not be cut out for it.

But that’s not true. The rough third is an inevitable part of the process.

And what separates those who get what they want from those who struggle to make progress — it’s how they respond when they find themselves in that rough third.

So, I invite you to take a moment to reflect:

When things get hard, when things don’t go as planned…

Who do you become? What’s your default reaction? Do you adapt, or do you resist? Do you take ownership, or do you withdraw, overcompensate, blame, get frustrated, or lose motivation?

Where does your focus go? Do you fixate on what you can’t control? Or do you take ownership of what is still in your hands?

What would change if, instead of fighting the hard days or feelings, you expected them — and used them to grow? What would you do differently?

Sit with these questions, because who you become in these moments changes everything.

This is how you learn.

This is how you grow.

This is how you find your way out of the forest.

And most importantly, this is how you become the person capable of leading yourself, and others.

It’s not just about sheer willpower. It helps you develop the ability to discern when to push forward and when to let go, when to take charge and when to surrender.

That balance — the dance between acceptance and responsibility — is the key to not just surviving life’s challenges but thriving through them.

It’s the shift from being a helpless victim of your circumstances to becoming the creator and captain of your life.

I hope it helps.