The Gift of Gratitude

January 11, 2025

Those who stood by your side when the going got tough.

This could be anyone — a friend, a parent, a sibling, a partner, or a mentor — anyone who has been a cornerstone in your journey and shone a light on your path. Someone you’ve shared some beautiful moments with, who supported you at your lowest or who challenged you to grow and become a better version of yourself.

Get honest, and ask yourself — Can they see themselves through your eyes, as the extraordinary individual they are?

Can they perceive their own worth as the incredible (wo)man, partner, parent, friend, leader, or colleague they’ve been to you (and others)?

In most cases, I feel pretty confident in saying that the answer is no.

The most selfless among us, those who put themselves last for those they care about, rarely receive the recognition they deserve.

And this is where we come in….

We’re in a season of reflection and giving, and some of the most beautiful, cherished gifts in life are the ones that reflect unspoken words — where we give someone the opportunity to let them see the mark they’ve left on the hearts and lives of those around them.

How they not only touched our lives but transformed them. How they made us believe, laugh, cry, smile, and made this messy game of life that little bit easier and more enjoyable.

It’s a gift that can’t be wrapped, one that doesn’t rest under the tree, but still holds immeasurable, priceless value.

To let them see their beauty and worth through our eyes.

So, I invite you to think of three people who have touched your life in this way and to use this time of year to reach out to them — be it through a letter, a phone, a video or even a short text — and give them the gift of seeing themselves through your eyes.

But before I explain how you can put this into practice, let me take you back 12 months when I gave the gift of gratitude to my father and friend, Olav.

Back in January, I wanted to give him a gift that could match the magnitude of the milestone at hand — his 65th year of life and his exit from an extraordinary career.

This was proving to be quite a challenge since my Dad was already surrounded by all his favourite gadgets and toys. Yet, despite his material possessions, there was one thing that he had never been able to truly give to himself:

The recognition he genuinely deserved for being the amazing man, partner, father, friend, leader and colleague that he has been.

So instead of adding to his stack of technology, or just booking a fancy dinner — I reached out to a carefully selected group of people I knew who were tied into his world — myself (of course!), my mom, my brother, his friends, his colleagues, you name it — and I asked them to record a video of them sharing:

  • The way he has touched or impacted their lives.
  • A moment or experience they want to say thank you for, and why.
  • Their favourite memory together with Olav.
  • And a bucket list experience they wish to do with him.

They shared the times that they had with Olav that made them smile, grow, laugh and cry — but above all, they paid testament to his unwavering support and guidance.

Seeing my father’s reaction to all of his nearest and dearest expressing their gratitude towards him was immeasurably beautiful to see. Each message unfolded another layer of his life’s impact, painting him a clear picture of the depth of his influence in ways he had never imagined.

This is why as Christmas is approaching, I thought I’d share this story with you again as an important reminder.

A reminder to make sure that the people you care about, and who have helped you out most know just how special they truly are.

Now, while I’m not suggesting that you connect with everyone in the network of those special to you… I am inviting you to think of 1–3 people who have influenced your life this year and to take a more individual, yet equally (and perhaps even more!) meaningful approach to sharing your gratitude.

First, think (and get to the core of!) the impact they genuinely had — did they have your back when the going got tough? Did they help you to put the pieces back together when you felt like falling apart? Did they inspire you to chase your dreams or stand by you as you took a leap of faith?

Or perhaps, were there moments when just their presence alone made a world of difference — where their silent support spoke volumes?

Once you have these memories and feelings in mind, take the time to put together a personal and honest letter, message or video. Let your words flow freely, and be colourful (specific!) with your gratitude.

Tell them how their presence, words or actions, often unnoticed or unspoken, have been a beacon of hope, inspiration and strength in your life. Let them know how their support has been a lifeline, their wisdom a guiding light, and their love a rock.

And then go a step further — share specific examples to give them a clear picture of their impact. Perhaps it was a late-night conversation that changed your perspective, a small act of kindness that lifted your spirits, or a time they stood by you and had your back when no one else did.

Let them know how these moments have impacted and shaped you, how they have been instrumental in your growth, and how their presence in your life is a gift you cherish deeply.

Because it’s in doing this small, yet incredibly meaningful act, that you’ll let them know that their worth and impact go far beyond what they might see or acknowledge. That their influence is profound and long-lasting, touching not just your life but the lives of many.

Your words will be a mirror reflecting the compassion, care, kindness, beauty, strength, and significance they bring to the world — the very thing they might not always see in themselves.

However, you choose to do it, just know that the reaction you will get will be nothing short of priceless. Prepare for joy, prepare for tears, but most importantly, prepare for this moment to be remembered for a lifetime.

And maybe…. regardless of the struggles or challenges you’ve faced this year, you remember how lucky you are to have such people in your life.

It tends to work for me.

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