Last week I reached out to you, asking what it was you wanted to read about in the coming weeks to help shed some light on the areas of your life that you feel need the most attention right now.

The response was overwhelming (thank you tho!), and I’m still in the process of answering all of the emails I got back.

Everyone who replied shared something unique with me. Sometimes, very personal, individual challenges. But on the whole, one, common culprit kept cropping up.

Procrastination.

What is it, why does it happen, and (most importantly!) how can you break through it, and commit to the work that you know you need to do so that you can propel yourself towards your highest aims, potential, purpose and joy in life.

But before we dive in, I want to make something clear — when I speak about procrastination, I’m not just talking about trading your to-do list for endless scrolling on Instagram, or watching another 10 podcasts in place of actually getting down and doing the work.

It all plays a part, don’t get me wrong.

However, I’m talking about the deep-seated protective mechanism that keeps you from pursuing your dreams, from taking that leap towards your highest potential, from doing what you came here to do and, most importantly, from living a fully-lived life.

The thing is, when (most) people think of procrastination — they focus on the symptoms such as laziness, poor time management, or a lack of self-control, willpower (you name it!) but this is just the surface of what we can both see, and experience.

It’s the tip of the iceberg. When we look below the surface, we are looking at a complex emotional, survival (flight!) response deeply rooted and connected to how we perceive both pain and comfort. It’s a learned mechanism which aims to escape or avoid the (perceived) “pain” that comes with facing or doing the thing in question.

At its best, it stops us from pursuing a path that’s not ours to walk, but all too often it offers us a quick fix, a relief from our fears (of failure), insecurities, discomfort and feelings of inadequacy, abandonment, embarrassment that come with doing the thing.

And like most things that offer a form of relief from the burdens of life, procrastination — or more accurately, the temporary sense of predictability, safety, acceptance and comfort that we gain from it — can pull us into an addictive cycle, often without realising it.

Just like how someone might reach for their phone and start scrolling through social media when they feel overwhelmed, or how a smoker lights up when stress hits, procrastination becomes our go-to response when we face discomfort or challenge. It’s our emotional escape hatch, our way of avoiding the thing that we don’t know how or want to face. And it doesn’t stop there.

Because there are also, other more below the radar, ways of procrastinating that we’re all (somewhat!) guilty of using to avoid, escape, or hide from the things we find uncomfortable, difficult or confronting.

And this might look like doing something “productive” that makes us feel like we’re making progress towards a goal — taking another course, watching another podcast or doing anything other than the work that — deep down — we know needs to be done.

Whatever your “weapon of choice” is, it becomes your go-to distraction, your way of avoiding the feelings you don’t know how or want to face.

But the point is — the more we use this escape hatch, the more ingrained it becomes. Every time we choose Instagram over that important task, Netflix over the conversation that we’d rather not have, or another course, podcast or self-help book over doing the actual work, we’re not just putting something off.

We’re strengthening a neural pathway, deepening a groove in our behaviour, and reinforcing the identity of the person who runs, hides, avoids, and ducks the big moves — which (over time) becomes harder to disidentify from. Let alone climb out of.

It’s a dangerous and vicious loop.

The more you procrastinate, the more you strengthen this addictive response. And the stronger this response becomes, the harder it becomes to do something you fear or find difficult to do. Before you know it, you’re caught in a web of your own making, always drawn to that quick fix of predictability and comfort rather than facing the task at hand.

Ultimately, losing the ability to LEAD yourself.

But when you dig a little deeper — and look at procrastination through a different lens, you can see that it’s a conflict between the person you could be — your highest self — and the person you are now — the younger version that’s trying to protect you from the thing you fear or resist facing.

For you to become the person you could be, the version of you capable of achieving your goals and the life that comes with it, you have to put your highest self in charge of your younger self. You have to do the thing you fear or resist most. You have to develop the capacity to face the feelings you desperately try to avoid.

You have to do the things that your highest self would do.

But in this process (and as we touched on a few weeks ago), your old self — and the habits and responses that come with it — must die. And that part of you doesn’t want to go without a fight. So it does all it can to stop you from moving forward, using procrastination as its weapon of choice.

This is where the real danger lies.

Because every time you take your hand off the wheel and let your younger self in charge, you’re not just putting off another task. You’re reinforcing the belief that you’re not capable, that you’re not disciplined, that you’re not the person who follows through.

That you don’t have what it takes.

How each of us procrastinates will look different, and more often than not, we’re all radically aware of when and how we do.

Whatever it looks like for you, it’s important to understand that while it provides you with a temporary sense of relief, with every act of avoidance you’re setting yourself up for a far greater pain in the long run — the pain of regret.

The secret to beating procrastination lies in understanding that the symptoms are a normal response to fear and resistance that live within you. The end goal isn’t to get rid of the symptoms, it’s to rebuild your capacity to be with and act in spite of the feelings that you so desperately wish to avoid.

To do this, and start taking consistent, intentional action — you need to go back to how you both set and work towards your goals.

Firstly, I want to invite you to revisit the newsletter from a few weeks back, in which we discussed setting clear, meaningful goals. If you haven’t read it yet or need a refresher, take a moment to do so now. It’ll provide the foundation for what’s to come.

Now, with those goal-setting principles fresh in your mind, let’s take it a step further.

The “secret” sauce to beating procrastination isn’t just about understanding both the conflict and WHY it happens in the first place, but rather, about confronting the feelings (and responses!) that you desperately wish to avoid. And to do that, you need to get specific.

So, I invite you to think about what specific activity or task you’re avoiding, what you’re running from, and what you’re weapon of choice is — a.k.a. in what ways you procrastinate.

Maybe you reach for your phone every time work gets tough. Maybe you jump on another project when things get uncertain or difficult. Maybe you keep signing up for masterminds or courses when all that’s needed is taking action. Or perhaps you suddenly get that (magical!) urge to reorganise your whole desk, house, living room — you name it, when an important deadline gets closer and closer.

Whatever it looks like for you, once you’ve identified the cause (activity + fear/resistance) and effect (behavioural response), you can then start to replace them with new, more productive behaviours, the key being, doing it with specificity at the top of your mind.

Demand specificity, as it will make the task more manageable (you can actually control it), it gives your mind a clear, actionable step to take and you won’t be able to BS yourself.

And look, the goal here isn’t to become a productivity machine overnight. It’s to slowly, steadily teach yourself how to face the part of your life (and yourself!) that you find difficult to face, one small win at a time. Each time you follow through on one of these specific commitments, you’re not just completing a task — you’re rewiring your brain, you’re reshaping your identity.

Be relentless, but be patient with yourself.

So, to help you get started on your journey to overcome procrastination — I invite you to get radically honest and answer the below questions, followed by the counter-question which will show you the steps that you need to take.

• What specific activity or task are you currently avoiding? Be as specific as possible, e.g. writing the first draft of my business proposal.
• What’s one small, specific action you can take right now to start this task? e.g. I will open a blank document and write the title of my proposal
• How do you typically distract yourself when avoiding this task? E.g. I check social media on my phone” or I suddenly decide to clean my entire apartment.
• What specific action can you take to remove or reduce this distraction?
  e.g. I will put my phone in another room and use a website blocker for social media sites during work hours

And then when we put it all together, I challenge you for the week ahead to identify (and work towards) one clear, actionable counter-strategy you can implement to overcome this specific instance of procrastination.

Remember, it must be so specific and manageable that there’s no way you can’t do it.

For example — For the next week, I will work on my business proposal for 20 minutes each morning right after breakfast, with my phone in another room and before checking any emails or messages.

If you truly want to commit to this challenge, I invite you to reply to this email sharing it with me.

The truly beautiful part about this is that as you keep doing this, you’re not just breaking bad habits…

You’re becoming a different person. A person who takes the initiative. A person who follows through. A person who faces challenges head-on. A person who lives up to their potential.

Sounds like a pretty fair trade to me.