Over the last two newsletters, we’ve taken a moment to pause and reflect.

To look honestly at how this year is unfolding so far, and more importantly, on how to realign with the direction you actually want to go. Through clarity, through structure and through small, consistent acts of ownership.

But as useful as reflection is, it doesn’t guarantee momentum.

Because the moment you get clear on what needs to be done, the next thing that usually shows up is resistance. And no matter who you are or what you do, this is something that everyone — from every walk of life — will experience at some point in their lives.

Yet, the hardest part is, resistance doesn’t always look like what we expect.

Often, it shows up quietly. As hesitation. As doubt. As a sense that maybe you’re not ready yet, that maybe the timing isn’t quite right, or that something else is more important.

And unless you know how to meet that moment with awareness, you’ll likely mistake resistance as a sign to stop, or more accurately, use it as a reason to retreat, simply because the discomfort feels like something must be wrong.

In many ways, this is how we’ve been conditioned to respond — to interpret discomfort as a red flag, and to step back the moment things feel unfamiliar, rather than staying with it long enough to understand what it’s actually trying to tell us.

But it’s important to understand that not all resistance is created equal.

There’s the kind that shows up when you’re doing something hard but right — when you’re stepping into discomfort because it’s what your next level of growth demands from you. That resistance is natural. It signals stretch, and it often precedes progress.

Then there’s the kind that shows up when you’re moving in the wrong direction — betraying a value, chasing someone else’s definition of success, or overriding a boundary.

The problem is, both types of resistance feel the same in the moment.

Both can trigger doubt, discomfort, and uncertainty. Biologically, our nervous systems are hardwired to prioritise what’s familiar over what’s unfamiliar. So the moment you introduce a new behaviour — something your body doesn’t recognise — it flags it as a potential threat.

Not because it is dangerous, but because it’s unknown. And what’s unknown feels unsafe.

That’s why resistance shows up.

Not as a flaw in character, but as a biological reflex. A pull back toward what’s comfortable, predictable, and already proven. And while both types of resistance can make you want to retreat, they are not the same.

And your ability to pause and ask the right questions (to get honest about what’s really happening!) is what allows you to discern whether you’re facing a necessary stretch or crossing a boundary you were never meant to override.

Because resistance is always information. And if you know how to read the discomfort you’re feeling, it will often show you exactly what needs to happen next.

The problem is, most people were never taught how to hold discomfort

Not to override it. Not to glorify it. But to be with it — without shutting down, backing away, or needing the world to rearrange itself to remove it.

Instead, we’ve been taught to treat discomfort as a red flag.

We’re conditioned to seek ease, optimise for convenience, and curate lives that keep us from ever having to feel too stretched, too confronted, too uncertain.

We’ve created a culture that confuses resistance with misalignment. That treats every form of pressure as pathology and encourages us to walk away the moment something feels heavy or threatening — not because it’s wrong, but because we’ve never built the muscle to stay.

We’re told to honour what we can’t tolerate, rather than build the capacity to meet it. To protect our sensitivities, rather than expand our capacity. And we’ve come to call this growth when, in reality, it’s often just control dressed up as self-awareness, consciousness, or alignment.

But the truth is, most of what we want, whether it’s growth, depth, freedom, or peace, lives on the other side of discomfort. And when we pathologise friction and pressure, we lose access to one of the most essential tools for human (and leadership) development — resilience.

It doesn’t mean you push through everything, ignore your limits or override your body. It simply means you stop assuming discomfort is a red flag and stop waiting for things to feel easy before you decide to take responsibility and lean in.

Because life rarely changes in a positive way without an increase in responsibility. If you want your trajectory to change, the amount of responsibility and, as a byproduct, your tolerance for resistance usually has to change with it.

This is where clarity, structure and discipline become essential.

When resistance shows up, and it will — the real risk is treating it like a problem to avoid, something to think your way out of, or to interpret it as a valid reason to stop. And this is why it’s important to develop the ability to discern:

What’s asking you to lean in, and what’s asking you to step back?

To support you in this, I’ve created a grit tool — The Resistance Matrix — to help you understand what the resistance you’re feeling is trying to tell you, and what to do next.

Each box in the matrix represents a different relationship between discomfort and alignment, and the work is learning to recognise which one you’re currently in so you can respond accordingly. Because your response, is what determines whether you grow, stay stuck, or drift further off track.

Let’s walk through each box, starting in the top left:

BOX 1 | STEP BACK
High discomfort. Low alignment.

This is where you’re putting in the effort, but it’s effort in the wrong direction. You’re pushing, grinding, trying to make something work that deep down doesn’t fit. This kind of resistance doesn’t signal growth. It signals misalignment, and it calls for you to:

→ Reassess.

→ Clarify values & goals.

→ Course correct.

BOX 2 | LEAN IN
High discomfort. High alignment.

The kind of resistance that shows up right before the breakthrough. You’re stretched. Confronted. You feel the weight of what’s being asked of you, but it’s aligned. It’s uncomfortable because it matters, and it asks you to:

→ Honour the stretch.

→ Support it with clarity and structure.

→ Take consistent and progressive action.

BOX 3 | WAKE UP

Low discomfort. Low alignment.

This is the danger zone most people don’t notice because it’s quiet. You’re not overwhelmed, but you’re not engaged either. There’s no friction. No pull. You’re coasting. Scrolling. Distracted. You’re going through the motions, but you’re slowly drifting away from where you want or are called to go, and the person you’re meant to become.

To get back on track:

→ Reconnect to values and goals.

→ Reignite your direction.

→ Introduce a bold challenge.

BOX 4 | STABILISE / ELEVATE
Low discomfort. High alignment.

This is where things are flowing. You’re clear, consistent, and in rhythm. The work feels good. The progress feels steady. But this is also where it’s easy to get complacent and plateau your growth. This box calls you to leverage the flow, not just to sustain but to expand. To use the stability as a foundation to grow from, to challenge yourself, and to stretch beyond what’s already working. To take action because it’s who you are, not because you don’t have a choice.

It asks you to:

→ Avoid complacency.

→ Maintain momentum.

→ Increase your baseline (values).

→ Stretch your goals.

Each of these boxes is part of the process, and it’s more than likely that you will move through all of them at different times. But, the key is knowing where you are and meeting it with the right response.

So, take a quiet moment this weekend and ask:

1. Which box am I in right now?
2. Is the resistance I’m feeling a stretch to lean in, or a signal to step back?
3. And if I were to take full ownership, what would my highest self do next?

I hope this helps you take your next step.

Now, let’s get to work.